Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize