I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
