i just google imaged poop.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
