dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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