There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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