PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
