You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
