this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
