i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
