I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
