so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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