it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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