The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
