did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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