I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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