Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
