Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
