so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
