remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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