ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
