I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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