Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
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