btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
