I wish my penis had an off switch
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
