Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
