guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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