Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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