That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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