walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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