Buhtt sex?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
