This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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