Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Are my feet made of real feet?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I believe in your delicious
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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