Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
