it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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