Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize