we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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