I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
