after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
