whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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