Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just want to make out with him forever
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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