He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
