Duck Duck Cougar?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
