Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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