BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
