wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
