Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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