They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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