All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
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