I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
