so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Less talking, more tequila
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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