Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize