We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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