Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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