Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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