So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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