You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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