your thong is hanging out like whoa
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
