Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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