Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
