That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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